Beatrice Offor - Circe, 1911
Something you can’t get over.
Right now, the one thing that is causing me distress I can’t share online, but it is basically my worry for a friend in need. My fears and worries have been taking a toll on me, especially these last two weeks, and I’ve even gotten to the point where it’s been affecting my health. Even so, I’m trying very hard to let go and let God, so to speak. I need Him to guide me so I can make the right actions and steps. With Him by my side, I’m trying very hard not to fear the future at all.
Funny story I’ll share about not getting over something. When I was about 14, I was invited to a theme park by a friend I knew since 4th grade. It was for her birthday, so two other friends tagged along, a girl I knew and a boy I did not. Now, both girls were asian- one was Indian, the other Filipino. The boy was hispanic. Now, to the point- we spent two days together, we slept at a nearby hotel. Within those two days, the boy picked on me and made me feel like a bum. At one point, he told me I was ugly in comparison to my friends. He called me chunky for not having the slim, small framges of my Asian friends and said I was unattractive because my breasts were ‘too big.’ Sad thing is, I let that haunt me. I was always insecure about my body, and it never occured to me that some would consider my ‘blessed’, so to speak. So I wore baggy shirts and always slouched, I always tried to hide my chest. I’d put my arms over my torso, or hid my chest behind books or notebooks at school. I felt hideous and fat all because of some jerk’s words!
By the time I converted to Christianity, I gained a ton of self-confidence. Something about believing in a God who believes in you does that to you lol. I began to realize my bust size was nothing to be ashamed of- in fact, I realized that some women would kill for what I once considered a curse! Granted, I’m not that big, but even so. I realized that my body is beautiful- big breasts or not, non-existant butt or the contrary, whatever! I’ve come to accept I’m a beautiful young woman, curves and all and no loser’s words can ever diminish my worth because he’s too insecure and malicious to know how to treat a young woman with respect and grace. So, at the end of the day, I gained confidence I never had, and was proud of my body and all of it’s attributes.
Oh, and turns out- I found that very same guy on Facebook. Guess what? He’s gay. -smile- the boy who scarred me by telling me I was ugly because of the size of my breasts turned out to be a very flamboyant homosexual. Funny how things work out, huh?